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There’s that moment when you realize you are having an awkward conversation with your teenage sons that will likely  benefit their future wives and children. That thought ocurred to me as I typed this in a group text to my teenage sons:

“Throughout the last few weeks it has become clear that my cycle is really messing with my emotional stability. I feel crazy, often like a different person, ill equipped to handle being present and incapable of handling all of your individual needs. I know this might feel confusing as I cannot switch gears like I used to or even handle chaos or rejection of ideas and plans. It feels alarming and even frightening at times. It’s PERIMENOPAUSE; a word you need to know.”  I hit send and exhaled.

Who knew I’d be texting about the big “P” with my teens yet I felt such weight lift as I went on to further explain my complete lack of control over my responses and emotions prior to the start of my cycle.  Can I get an amen?  I waited, hoping nobody would type back to ask, “what is a cycle?” So help me.  TMI? Perhaps, but ask me if I care. These monthly emotional shifts which seem to be worsening with age, do not feel typical, moving me from zero to sixty in a hot second.  Sometimes my reactions to nearly everyone and everything rival that of a teen about to lose his or her phone for the weekend.  Now do I have your attention? I shift from feeling invisible, irriational, foggy and forgetful: such an easy combination as I’m managing a huge brood and often watching my boys glance at one another with puzzled faces almost behind my back. I still have eyes in the back of my head. How soon they forget. I knew it was time to stop pretending they didn’t see and start the akward dialogue. It’s often that the purposeful parenting avenue just feels right.

The converstaion continued and I shared numerous symptoms without regret. Sorry not sorry that their dear old Mom is now struggling with a rite of passage similar to the many passages I am walking each of them through constantly. Afterall, turnabout is fair play. Trouble is teenagers have the empathy {and attention span} of a gnat so I set my expectations low.  I’m happy to report they have already surprised me.  Asking for forgiveness during the days of overwhelm and malfunction means admitting my weakness. Not my comfort zone for sure and perhaps not yours but heck, neither is hiding panic, tears or an absolute irrational tirade. Kids are old enough to understand that we parents have struggles too. I’m counting on these exchanges to build their understanding of just how powerful we women are as we endure so many beautiful and necessary seasonal shifts. Someday they will thank me for not sugar coating ALL THE THINGS as they better understand coworkers, mother in laws and certainly wives. I’m banking on it.

And one more thing… we women need to be discussing this! I truly wonder how many in their mid to late 40’s are feeling all raver, lonely or bewildered without the realization of hormonal pattern or ways to combat such days. I see you. The struggle is real.